When I’m dying, there are a few regrets that I expect to have. That I missed being part of my younger siblings’ lives as they grew up. That I did not get see and experience as much as I’d hoped to. But there is one thing I very much doubt that I will regret – that I didn’t lose ‘the last 5kgs’.
What I may well regret is wasting time and energy obsessing over diet and weight loss for the first half of my twenties. I might wish that I’d simply embraced my healthy, size eight body for what it is, which is probably the best it will ever be. I would regret agonising over every meal and mouthful, every bodily imperfection, and regret allowing an unhealthy mindset to cause me such unhappiness.
So I threw out my new year’s resolutions. I have two fresh ones: first, to accept and appreciate my body, and then let it occupy only a little space in my mind, and second, to pursue my interests, find enjoyment in all that I do, and have as much fun as possible.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t care about food. Goodness no, I believe still that what I put in my mouth is both the cause and the cure of most health conditions I will experience. I know that my food choices have widespread social and environmental effect, while also reflecting my personal ethics. This year I’ll still be sharing delicious healthy recipes. I’ll still be feeding my body what it needs to thrive and food that I enjoy. But after all of this, it’s just food, and it sure as hell doesn’t define or rule me.
And I hope that at the end of my life my regrets will be very few!